Reversion road.. Part 1 of my story

Assalalm alaikum & peace to all...

Ive been lately pre-occupied with the fact of me being a 'revert'... what exactly is that you may ask...well it is a term that Muslims use to describe someone who has 'come back' to the faith of Islam. Hmm...you may be thinking that this is some way of describing those who were born as Muslims and have 'come back'... like the so-called 'born again Christians" (never did understand that really) Well no its not the same thing at all.

Muslims believe that we are all born into the faith of Islam (which by the way means submission to the One God ) and only later on are we changed or influenced by our parents or caregivers. I think I like the way this is phrased...we are coming back to believing and worshiping our Creator and Lord. Nice huh? Not a religion of terrorism is it...
(ok, ok, had to slide that one in! ~ that's another topic by itself...~ when will the world start to judge individuals and not the entire faith!...but ANYWAYS!)

I have been struggling with religion all my life I suppose. From early on we are taught that we need to have faith in God and believe that Jesus is his son and is divine and we can only be 'saved' or unburden our sins through him...
(astagfurallah ~ I seek God's forgiveness) I remember going to church and just sitting there and thinking why is there such a huge statue of Jesus hanging there on the cross ... we're are not supposed to be worshipping idols...but look around a church and you will see tons of statues of Mary and various saints...and (here it comes...) some people would even kiss and PRAY to those statues for Intervention! (Astagfurallah......ahhhhhhhh how horrid!) I mean not even in any form of Christianity should you be doing this! Yet people don't realize...its what they were taught from
generation to generation! So needless to say, I was disheartened with religion or rather with my church and its seemingly good ethics! For years I just went along and prayed and went to church sang in my High school choir (all girls school!) but deep inside...(well maybe not so deep) I was not a Catholic ...not really. I did not go to church every Sunday, would only attend mass with the school, only by force did I go to confession (another horrid thing! sorry but it is...I mean you're stuck in a box confessing your sins to a man who suddenly through the power of the holy spirit has the ability to absolve you from your sins! Gee...I thought only God could do that???) so all in all I was not a practicing Catholic! Well...not quite.

Yes, I did not do all the 'rituals and performances' but in my heart and every night I would pray to God (only God!) I would thank God for all the things that he gave to me in a day...and pray to keep us all safe and protected. I thought that is sufficient in Faith...I did not need to show it in an outward way. So, in essence I had started my journey on this road, on this path of faithfulness...only it would take maybe 15+ more years to really hit me...

What have I done?

Part II ...later on (Inshallah)

~If you are bored by this...well don't read anymore! If you are interested well good... I'm glad! ~