A whinny mom?

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

I feel like whining a bit...am I allowed? Well, yeah, this is my blog so yeah I am going to HAHA!

Just lately I've been feeling overwhelmed with taking care of my one year old and kind of feel like nobody ever says what its going to be like.  Mostly I'm struggling with the fact that he is not sleeping through the night and on top of that he only falls asleep in my arms (yeah I know that is my fault and I am not blaming anyone except myself for that). I probably shouldn't really be worrying so much and stressing about it....thank God my child is healthy and safe ...so why am I stressing?  I try to think of this all when he is screaming in my face!

I don't know it's just lately I am feeling like a bad mom.  Of all the forums, boards, or any other social site, I never hear the 'real' story of how mom's act when their children scream in their face, or won't sleep for hours, etc. I mean I get so frustrated and just want it to stop.  I do scream across the room at my son (see bad mom!) to be quiet....although I realize he is too young to know why I am screaming and also I see how ridiculous it is to be saying to him in a screaming tone, "stop screaming".  I don't know why women don't really reveal their true feelings about things...or are they and am I really the only one to be feeling like this?

I read about women who have two, three, or more children and think..."why can't I just handle one, why am I getting so frustrated, so easily?"  I don't know maybe I'm just too whinny...I have been accused of that before!

The lack of sleep, the lack of a 'life' outside of my child, no babysitters so that hubby and I can have a few moments to ourselves. I feel like I am a bit getting lost in all of this.  I really don't think I'm officially depressed...I've looked it up online and I don't cry and feel bad all day.  Just sometimes feel I can't go on...but then my son looks at me and smiles and I instantly melt and know why I'm doing all this!

So, anyway this is just a rant a bit and a venting session.  I am asking if there are any mom's out there to share their stories of frustrations. If you don't want to reveal them in public just post that in the message and I won't publish it just read it.  I think I need to know that I am not losing my mind and that this is all a normal way of feeing?

Thanks for reading!