Assalam alaikum & Peace to all
Thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post - all of your words really helped.
Unfortunately things have gotten worse ...not better, yes I did blow up a bit but it was for something different, I admit I reacted a bit quick and abrupt but it just happened and I have been 'paying' for that ever since. Not to seem like I'm back-biting (maybe I have already - may God forgive me if I have) but I over-heard my Mother talking badly about me and my husband to a friend of her's. After that I have not been the same, it's just too many times I have heard her say one thing to me and then go behind my back and talk badly. I am just deflated right now, I feel lost and don't know how to fix things. Hubby is very upset at the situation and I feel I am caught between the two of them. It's not like I have to make a choice between the two (I pray that it will never come to something like that) but my husband is right as well, the whole situation is too tense and my Mother is not realizing how much strain she is putting on us. I admit wholeheartedly that she is too in a difficult situation but having background history about this I can tell you that this is her personality - only it has gotten worse.
I prayed that God will show me out of this situation so that we can all be healed of this anger and frustration, but I just don't know what to do.
I know in Islam parents are held in high regard and God knows that I am trying to do my best but what about that parent not making things difficult? What about not hurting their own child?
May Allah forgive me and give me strength, as I will Inshallah have a child but I just can't imagine doing this to my child, I sit here almost in tears and in the morning when she says 'dear daughter' I feel a little part of my dying away because all I can hear are her harsh words that were spoken behind closed doors.
Does anyone have any prayers I can recite to calm me down, to give me patience? I just don't know how to handle all of this.
Forgive me if this sounds so dramatic...and I understand if nobody responds, I think I just need to get this out in the open.