A whinny mom?

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

I feel like whining a bit...am I allowed? Well, yeah, this is my blog so yeah I am going to HAHA!

Just lately I've been feeling overwhelmed with taking care of my one year old and kind of feel like nobody ever says what its going to be like.  Mostly I'm struggling with the fact that he is not sleeping through the night and on top of that he only falls asleep in my arms (yeah I know that is my fault and I am not blaming anyone except myself for that). I probably shouldn't really be worrying so much and stressing about it....thank God my child is healthy and safe ...so why am I stressing?  I try to think of this all when he is screaming in my face!

I don't know it's just lately I am feeling like a bad mom.  Of all the forums, boards, or any other social site, I never hear the 'real' story of how mom's act when their children scream in their face, or won't sleep for hours, etc. I mean I get so frustrated and just want it to stop.  I do scream across the room at my son (see bad mom!) to be quiet....although I realize he is too young to know why I am screaming and also I see how ridiculous it is to be saying to him in a screaming tone, "stop screaming".  I don't know why women don't really reveal their true feelings about things...or are they and am I really the only one to be feeling like this?

I read about women who have two, three, or more children and think..."why can't I just handle one, why am I getting so frustrated, so easily?"  I don't know maybe I'm just too whinny...I have been accused of that before!

The lack of sleep, the lack of a 'life' outside of my child, no babysitters so that hubby and I can have a few moments to ourselves. I feel like I am a bit getting lost in all of this.  I really don't think I'm officially depressed...I've looked it up online and I don't cry and feel bad all day.  Just sometimes feel I can't go on...but then my son looks at me and smiles and I instantly melt and know why I'm doing all this!

So, anyway this is just a rant a bit and a venting session.  I am asking if there are any mom's out there to share their stories of frustrations. If you don't want to reveal them in public just post that in the message and I won't publish it just read it.  I think I need to know that I am not losing my mind and that this is all a normal way of feeing?

Thanks for reading!

What about mom crying-it-out?

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

Nobody really tells you what it is like to have a child and raise them...I think it's because people think that you will get scared and not even attempt to have a child!  Well, I'm not like that...I kind of like to know what I'm getting into...good and bad!  I actually get a sense of relief and satisfaction when mom's tell me that it is not easy, that it is a trial and they are sometimes frustrated - makes me feel like I'm not a total failure as a mom! Anyway my long rant here is actually going to be about some advice ....my needing advice!

Somehow I got my son used to sleeping in my arms, even for naps.  I truly don't know how it happened? I admit that in the beginning it was nice to hold him and watch him sleep...so adorable.  Ok, now that he is one years old...its getting a bit tough.  He will not sleep in his crib until he falls asleep in my arms, even for his two naps. I've tried the cry-it-out method...well a bit...I've never been able to completely have him cry for like an hour!  I actually asked the doctor yesterday at his 1 yr appointment, about the sleeping issues...she said that I should just let him cry and he will eventually get sleepy and sleep.  Well, yes but how do you do that? I mean hearing your child crying is heartbreaking (but so is holding him in my arms for over half an hour to get him to sleep) and then he just looks at me like: "don't you like me anymore?"  Aggg!
So, I'm kind of asking for some help from some mom's out there...what's the best way to get him to sleep
on his own?  Oh and he wakes up at least two times a night crying and usually ends up in my arms and bed.  Yeah I know...not good!  So HELP !!

I'm learning how to swim...first embarrassing moment...more to come I'm sure!!

Assalam alaikum &Peace to all

Ok so I've finally decided to learn how to swim...I found a course online that was teaching adults how to
swim and bonus its an all women class!! Woo hoo! Perfect! So today was the first day and I was a bit nervous about how its going to go...and embarrassed about what to wear...but since it was all women I didn't really have
too much reservations about wearing a normal bathing suit.  Well...I got to the pool and was the first one there...so I waited until one or two other women showed up, I then went into the change room.  I was already wearing my bathing suit underneath my clothing, so was waiting a bit to change.  Well, the other woman was wearing a t-shirt and spandex type of pants...I sat there wondering when are they going to change? As I waited another two women came by...wearing same kind of thing...I was slowly getting the picture and getting a sinking feeling.  Before going to the pool it is mandatory to shower up...so I saw these women who were all 'dressed' up showering with the t-shirt and pants ....ahhh totally sinking moment and I wanted to go and hide!! I looked at one of the women and said..."oh I didn't realize you can wear that, some pools don't let you wear such things' She looked at me and just said, "no, you can wear things like this, we are all women here"  Exactly I thought...because we are women it doesn't really matter (well ok, I know there are rules with women too...but you know its just different than with men!) I then said: " oh I thought you have to wear a traditional bathing suit" She then says: "well you wear what you are comfortable in"  I said uncomfortably, "I would rather wear a t-shirt" She just looked at me indifferently.   Ok, I totally wanted to go home and get a full t-shirt and pants...oh my how was I supposed to march in there in my bathing suit...that compared to what the other women were wearing might as well have been a bikini!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Well, no choice I had to start the course...so I marched in there with my towel on...looked hopeless, and I felt hopeless!  Of course eventually I had to take my towel off...oh wonderful!  The 45 minute course went by fairly quickly...it consisted of me floating on my back, on my front...blowing bubbles and kicking my way around the pool.  All in my wonderful swim suit...I felt like a whale!  Somehow went back to the change room and showered off...really quickly...all the while all I hear in the background is "Assalam alaium, wa alaikum assalam"  OH PERFECT!  I've wanted to meet some Muslim women from this area...well I did now...and I'm sure they think I'm just some fluzy...should I tell them "Oh I'm Muslim too...salam!!"  AHHHHHHH
Maybe they won't remember me next week?? Let's hope!!??  Oh what to do...I feel left out again, probably shouldn't but hey that's me.  If all of you can stop laughing for a moment and comment on what I should do...I would appreciate it LOL!


 

You raised kids...I would expect more help?

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

This is somewhat of a rant and question all in one.  When I was pregnant I was expecting a lot of advice and help from my Mother.  I imagined that she would tell me all about the late night feedings and how you would have to be awake every hour and that most likely you will be a zombie the next day.  I imagined she would tell me about how and what to feed, tell me that breastfeeding is a wonderful choice and praise me for trying to do it (she was not able to do it).  I imagined all these things and more...but what did I get...nothing really.  All I ever heard from her was that parenting was hard but worth it in the end.  Ok, well yeah we all know that...I wasn't looking for a fortune cookie message...I was looking for advice and help.  One moment I will never forget and it hurt deeply.  I was struggling with breastfeeding and little one was crying and fussing, my mother was there and she was watching what I was doing, and she says:  "stop torturing him and give him a bottle" OMG...I was so hurt...I just looked at her and said : "I'm not torturing, I'm trying to feed"  I mean really...how could she say that?  Anyway, basically I was looking for some motherly advice but it never came, only "fortune-cookie" sayings. Sigh...anyway I'm mostly over it now (mostly, not quite).  So jump forward to today...present time. Little one is a bit sick or teething, don't really know yet if its a cold or just teething.  He is a bit feverish, and is sneezing a bit more, and just doesn't look happy.  I know, I know it sounds like a cold, but two months ago he was the same and out popped two teeth, so I realized it was that.  Right now he is working on all four of his upper teeth, so I'm assuming its from that, anyway this time its Mother -In -Law who is questioning things.  She says: "how did he get a fever, why is this happening?  SERIOUSLY?? I felt like saying to her "you raised two kids, you know they get fevers, and go through teething."  Why are these mothers not helping? Instead they are questioning and acting as if they don't know what babies and kids go through?? Maybe I'm expecting too much?  I'm not sure what I would do if there was no internet, I would surely be stuck on what to do and what to expect.  If I'm allowed to be a grandmother one day (Inshallah) I swear that son or daughter or son-in-law/daughter-in-law will get an ear full of me giving examples and advice and all...well, if only they want it...I also know when to SHUT UP! LOL!!

"haha...I thought I saw you wearing a scarf...hahaha"

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all


So yesterday I met up with a friend for lunch and some shopping.  Went to a busy mall (well, they are all busy now with the holidays coming up)  and she was looking for me and couldn't easily find me (I was in H&M -blush)  when we finally met up, she says: "Oh I saw a woman who looked just like you in a headscarf...I mean really it looked like you and I thought 'no, she didn't, did she'?"

Well, that's just so funny because I was thinking before meeting her, what would she say if I showed up in a scarf! LOL Was it a sign to wear the scarf....well, I know its not...but it was a funny scene.
This is the same friend who was like "you're Muslim...I didn't realize that!" this was after I had told her that I was.  Anyway...later on in the conversation she says: "So did you put your christmas tree up yet" Then two seconds later "oh yeah you're Muslim...so what did you do for Eid?"  Yeah well then it came, "We didn't do anything..." sigh... Came home that night and told hubby that ok for next year we're totally doing SOMETHING for Eid...inviting our non-muslim friends, etc!  (we always get invited to x-mas parties, etc) so thats it decided...next year I'll inshallah have an answer to the question "what did you do for Eid?"

Anyways...thats how my yesterday was!

Dressing modestly and fashionably when you are...

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

Ok, so lately I've been feeling all like I really need to dress more modestly (ok, I don't wear revealing things...just sometimes make bad choices ...lol) well, actually I want to be more fashionable!  I have a little boy who Mashallah takes up most of my time but now that he is almost one years old....I'm finding a bit more time to dedicate to myself.  So, because of that I want to seem more 'put-together' oh and I'm playing around with the idea of wearing a scarf (MAYBE ...IT'S A BIG STEP NOT SURE IF I CAN DO IT - ok so I need to work on my dedication to prayer, etc before I can even think of wearing it full time - and don't everyone jump on me about its fard...etc I KNOW ALL OF THAT - we all have our journeys...)  Anywho! I browse the hijab style blogs and I am so fascinated by all the girls who are so lovely and put together...mashallah.  I've always wanted to be fashionable and 'put-together' but I've never been able to really master it... so that is what Im trying to do now!  So basically my question is...How do you dress modestly when you are AHHRRRRHMMM (cough cough) approaching mid-thirties, have a crawling baby and hubby to attend to?  Here are some pics I've found of fashions I like...opinions please!


I just feel like so many of the fashions are too 'young' for me now...so I really need some great ideas!
Love the fashions of Hijab Revival

Im also not too much of a long skirt/dress person...depends on the skirt really...(wide hips!)  For now I'm kind of in the jeans mode...lol comfy!

I'm going to post some of my 'ideas' for me...I'll do this after MIL leaves LOL


 

Ah its that time again...gingerbread, candy canes and ...

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

After being a convert for five years you would really think that I would have gotten over the whole christmas idea? Well, in a way I have but in others I have not, especially since we have a baby now. I love seeing the lights on the houses, and how lovely they are all decorated, I love walking in the mall and seeing all the happy children taking photos with Santa and then I get a bit sad that my child will not be able to experience those things.  This is one aspect of being a convert that really SUCKS!  I told hubby dear that next year we will have to make Eid a very special time for our son, so that he will not be left out ( I think its for me too...I miss all those 'holiday' feelings)  Hubby sees that I get slightly depressed at not getting to enjoy the holiday's, he even said 'why don't you take the child to get a picture with Santa'  I was only half tempted.  For him its really doesn't mean anything...religious or not...its just christmas and this is what they do here (as in decorations and things) he didn't grow up with it and he has none of the 'emotions' that I have linked to it.  Family dinners, presents, everyone trying to be 'happy' and 'loving' to each other, those are the things I miss.  So I think I'll try and combine these things...I can make a nice dinner any night, and make the special dishes that I had growing up (doesn't have to be on the 24th or 25th of December)  I can give presents to my family just because I 'love' them and not because it is the 25th of December, and most of all I think I'll really try and make an effort to be more happy and loving!  So what do you think .... is it a good plan??

Wow I've fallen off the face of the planet...at least the blogging planet

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

I can't believe that I've not been able to update this blog more often...I think Im probably writing this all for nothing as I've probably lost all of my readers... (crickets chirping).  I just feel that I haven't really had
any good topics to discuss lately and talking about my daily life would be boring? Well, maybe I should just write what I want to?? It is my blog after all...so inshallah I will be writing more often about anything that pops into my little inquisitive head!

As for now...'little inquisitive son' is eek-ing and looking for my attention! Mashallah he is such a joy...but is a real handful now that he has started to crawl!! Mashallah time has gone by so fast...in a little over a month he will be a year old!!

ok, so for now ....I'll talk to you all later!