Ramadan day 15

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

Day 15 has come and gone... so that means that we are half way done with Ramadan already...I really cannot believe how time goes by so fast!  After having a little break (you know) I am now ready to fast again tomorrow, inshallah I will be able to keep the fast.  I have been learning a surah from Quran - Al-kafiroon mashallah I have just two more lines left to memorize!  I have been very lax in learning new surah's (may Allah forgive me) but this year instead of reading the 30 Juz of Quran I have decided to try and memorize at least one surah.  Every year it almost becomes a race to finish reading the 30 juz, I think that's just not right, I need to read it and have a good understanding of it...not just make sure to finish it within the 30 days.  So, inshallah I will have memorized that surah and will be able to use it in my prayers.

How is everyone's Ramadan going so far?

Some interesting you tube videos

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

I like to look around youtube from time to time... there are so many 'hateful' and hurtful videos on Islam I just pass those by...there is enough hate around. So here are some nice, inspiring videos!



Mashallah I really liked that prayer...so inspiring!!



Some Dua's - so beautiful!





Beautiful Azan

How to learn how to pray... my journey

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

Hey, i have a question for you to ponder! In general, i am curious to hear about how you, as a westerner, learned to pray in Islam, both the language and the ritual of it all is SO intimidating to me. I understand and respect why it is so important in the faith, but i feel like i could never learn to do it right. does that make sense? Maybe you can do me a favor and post a blog entry about it, i am sure other people might also be wondering?

I got this question posed to me by another blogger/On-line friend and I thought it would be a great post to write about! So that is exactly what I am going to do, Inshallah.

Learning to pray for me was a very big step and it was the single most important thing after saying the Shahada. I had looked up how to pray and what it all meant and felt confident that I would be able to do it, one day. So for the first time I wore a headscarf, making sure my clothing was proper (nothing open and well covered) I had printed out a copy of the prayer 'wording', I had re-copied it so that I would be able to pronounce it as it sounded. (found many places online that had a 'recitor' so at least I could hear how it should be sounding.) So, that was it, I was ready to pray or at least try to. I was filled with a sense of fulfilment, I would finally be able to offer prayer!

Ok, so I made the intention in my heart ( 4 rakats of Isha prayer) with my handy paper I was ready! Ah...yeah hold on, how was I supposed to do the movements and recite the words at the same time? Hmm, well this was not going to work now was it? No... it did not. A moment ago I was overcome with fulfilment and now I was in despair. How was I to do the prayers if I cannot recite the words? How was I to do the movements without reciting? Frustration, yes that is what I felt the first time I tried to pray. Sorry it was not the magic moment that I thought it would be. I actually do remember taping the paper to the wall and looking at it and doing the movements, this became awkward and I realized that I would have to memorize the whole thing!! Gak... but it was long and it was in Arabic? How was I supposed to do that?

Well, as with all things, patience was required. I decided to start at the beginning and learn the most important things first - this being Al-Fathia (the first chapter of the Quran and the first verse you must recite in each prayer) Let me tell you that it took a long time to memorize it all.
To make matters worse, I (just because I am who I am... inquisitive and all!) wanted to make sure that I knew what I was reciting, so that meant I had to memorize this in English as well!
Yes, I know, why not just recite the thing and don't worry about the meaning.
That is very easy to say and do...but I did not want to follow this religion blindly! I had grown up with that... 'just believe, have faith, don't question things...etc' Well I needed to know what I was saying! The first words that were revealed to Prophet Mohammed was 'read!

96:1 Read: In the name of thy Lord who createth,
96:2 Createth man from a clot.
96:3 Read: And thy Lord is the Most Bounteous,
96:4 Who teacheth by the pen,
96:5 Teacheth man that which be knew not.

I always loved this about Islam, we must not be ignorant and follow blindly, we must go out and search for knowledge! So, that is what I did. I slowly began memorizing the first verse. I did it line by line. After knowing that first line I would move on to the next one. Each night I would practice it, saying it in Arabic then in English, hoping that I would remember everything. So little by little I did learn it. I started the prayers with the parts that I knew... and to be honest the main parts of the prayer performance the words are quite short. Like when you go down to bow its called Ruku, you say 'Subhana rabbi al-azeem' Glory be to God, the Great - three times. Then for when you kneel down (sujud) you say 'Subhana rabbi al-a laa' Glory be to God, the most High - three times. As well when you start the prayer you say, 'Allahu Akbar' Allah is the Greatest. So as you can see many of the words are quite simple to remember!

I really can't say when I memorized the whole thing... it's just a process and it will take everyone their own time. I am still learning verses, as you need to recited different verses in each prayer, well ideally you should. As a convert you are allowed some leniency, you are not expected to learn everything right away, God knows this and therefore you should take time and enjoy the experience of learning. I can't say it was easy, as it really was not! But now I have a great sense of accomplishment, that I have been able to memorize it all and really understand what it is I am saying. Yes, honestly I do forget a bit about the English meaning occasionally, but I always like to look back and see what it means exactly and it is never far from my mind.

So that is how I started out... would love to hear all your stories, either on my comments or in a blog of your own!!

Things going on in my life...

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

I have not blogged for a while...no reason really just couldn't think of anything significant to write about - well that's not entirely true, I always have things running around in my mind but am too afraid to post about it for fear of bashing or controversy or people just plain not liking me afterwards. Anyway... so a little about things so far.

Probably somewhere at the end of the week I am going for a procedure known as 'hysterosonography ' it is a process where they check out via an ultrasound if everything is 'ok' in my reproductive system. DH and I have been trying for one year to have a child and now it has come time to check if everything is 'ok' and then go from there. I really think we are just very stressed with work and life in general, but we cannot know for sure. So having this test is the first step in finding out...I'm not looking forward to it at all. From other women Ive heard that it is un-comfortable at the least and painful at the most...so we shall see. Inshallah it will go well...I am more concerned with what they find afterwards...please keep us in your dua's ... jazakallah khair.

I was just wondering if there are any known prayers for wanting to have children. I have read about some but thought I would ask all of you reading if you have any prayers I can be reciting, etc.

Other than that I am looking forward to having a nice relaxing vacation with DH inshallah in nine days. We are off to a sunnier locale ... inshallah I will have lots of beautiful pictures to share afterwards!!

So that is life in a nutshell... today has been a rollercoaster day, from morning I was really stressed about a situation but mashallah I prayed that it would be made easier and that I am given the strength to endure it. I found this prayer from my small prayer book, "Fortress of the Muslim" It was such a small simple prayer but it made me feel so much better to be reciting it!

Allaahumma laa sahla 'illaa maal ja'altahu sahlan wa 'Anta taj'alul-hazna 'ithaa shi'ta sahlan.

139. O Allah, there is no ease other than what You make easy. If You please You ease sorrow.

Pray for peace...

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

The world is a buzz with all that is going on in the middle east. I find it so sad and shameful that people just stand by and do nothing, well ok not everyone. Just looking a few images online is enough to make my stomach turn, and especially the pictures of wounded children. How can anyone look at them and turn a blind eye to it? I know that most people will say, 'yeah but that's over there...it doesn't affect us' Well you know what it does, directly or indirectly it does hurt us all in the end. I mean that child has a Mother who is crying her heart out, a Father who is wounded beyond physical wounds, has a Sister or Brother who is alone now. Muslims all around the world are crying out for justice and compassion especially from countries that have Muslim majorities. The world turns a blind eye, a cold heart and walks away with their heads down. I think its time to realize that it's not just 'over there' that war affects everyone, let us remember that we are all related....we are all HUMAN! We all have blood, bones, muscles and when one is hurt we are all hurt.

May God protect us and guide us and give peace to those who are suffering.

Universal Prayer service...

I’ll start with how I got roped into this situation, rather my dear husband and I. My husband’s friend mentioned to him that he was going to listen to a ‘concert’ consisting of some religious songs, words, poetry, etc. Hubby dear asked if I was interested, I said ok why not? I had totally assumed that it was going to be some kind of nasheed or recitations or at the very least Islamic poetry. (Must say that hubby’s friend is not religious, he’s more ‘spiritual’ but still within the general realm of Islam (kind of – anyway will make sense later on) So, we go inside and take our shoes off and go inside the area, where we are greeted by a woman and asked if this was the first time coming to this – we, my husband and I say ‘yes’. So she chats for a while, and tell us to take a seat. Ok, we do so. I look around for the first time at the surroundings and realize it’s very calming and serene. We are given a handout, so I start to glance over it (couldn’t imagine why we were being given that). As I am glancing at it, I start to get a bit of a nagging feeling that ‘this is not what I think it will be’ – the understatement of the year!
It starts out nice enough: “Praise be to Thee, Most Supreme God,Omnipotent, Omnipresent, All-pervading, the Only Being...” I was like, ok thats nice. Most of the wording was like, this and quite nice to listen to. Then there started some music, a man was playing guitar and started singing this: Bismillahir rahim ...we start in the name of God” It was a nice scene, people were singing along with it. I know that they were not Muslim but it was truly heart-warming that they were so taken with it. So it continued this way, these kinds of words and music (there was even one song, ‘laillallah ill allah’ they kept singing it over and over (mashallah). I realized by now that it was not anything that I was expecting – but that was ok, because I like learning and experiencing different things. Well, that was up until the next phase of the “universal worship service” (I should have known better).
I’m not going to go on a write all that was said... but there is a site where I found all that I ‘experienced’

Basically this was called ‘universal Sufism’. Now being a convert to Islam, I of course heard of Sufism, but had never really gone too much into it. I know that it is a ‘mystic form of Islam’
“[Sufism is] a science whose objective is the reparation of the heart and turning it away from all else but God.”
Basically it’s a form of Islam concentrating on the more mystic and inner forms of reflection, and prayer. I should know by now that people will and have always twisted things to form their own conclusions and interpretations. Ugg! Sufis originally were following Islam the correct way, but they also devoted their lives to finding spirituality. One of the more famous Sufis was Mevlânâ Celaleddin-i-Rumi -He was a universal mystic and a devout Muslim. His way of Sufism teaches unlimited tolerance, positive reasoning, goodness, charity and awareness through love.

“So long as my life persists, I'm the servant of the Qur'an”
"A dust on the path of Muhammad, the Chosen,
"If one conveys contrary to my words,
"Disgusted I am from the conveyor and from the conveyed."

Sounds pretty good? Yes, it does but unfortunately these people have twisted something good and turned it into something ‘wrong’. Well, at least that is how I think of it! If interested look in the ‘real’ Sufism, I have a bit and its kind of interesting. Unlike what I had witnessed.

It’s interesting how I was so ‘freaked’ out by all this. I do not get these feelings if I attend a church service or hear about another religion, etc. But this ‘worship service’ had me feeling all strange. I think it was because there was some elements of Islam but it became a twisted version of it. I know some people will think and say that ‘this was haram, you should have not gone’, or at the very least I had to leave the moment I realized what was going on. Well, I could not leave, would have been rude to my husband’s friend and to the people there. I do not feel that my faith is shaken or weakened by what I say, in fact it was strengthened. Subhanallah, I was so glad that I was Muslim and that I was on the ‘right’ path, but I do not look down upon these people, because they are trying to follow the right path, and only by God’s guidance, will they find the true path. Perhaps they will discover Islam on their own. They are not very far from the true path, but perhaps this is the way to find Islam. For us converts we were ‘lost’, in a sense, and were guided by God to the right way. I choose right now to take away only one memory from this event, this being the older man of the group. While they were singing, ‘bismillah hir rahman’ the old man had his hand over his heart, eyes closed saying these words over and over. Not a more beautiful site than that. Yes, there is hope in this world.

Piety unveiled...

Let's see what does the above title conjure up in your mind? Hmm...let me try to guess a few responses. First perhaps you might think it is about veiling. Second guess, about piety. Well, its neither really. Let me start with looking at what piety means:
pi·e·ty (p-t)n. pl. pi·e·ties 1. The state or quality of being pious, especially:

a. Religious devotion and reverence to God.

Yes, it is a reverence to God, to be devoted and revere God - most Muslims will struggle the rest of their lives to reach a high level of piety, Inshallah we all can strive towards this, nothing wrong with that.
Now, back to my original question, rather answer. For a few days now, well in reality its been a few months, something has been running around in my head, an incident that happened to my husband actually. It was the time during Ramadan, close to the end of it and we were meeting with another couple to break our fast.

Ok, before I begin let me start with a bit of a background about this couple well, really the wife, lets call her Mrs.S. My husband and Mr. S. are friends, so naturally me and Mrs. S. are expected to be friends too, I have no problem with that and think that Mrs. S. is friendly and likeable - she also wears hijab; scarf & abaya. Now I mention that she wears these items only to make a point, which I will come to later on in the story. When we visit we keep to separate parts of the apartment - men in one room us women and child (Mashallah, she has a cute 1yr old son) in another room - once again I have no problem with this, if she feels this is necessary and feels more comfortable then by all means! She knows that I am a convert and has mentioned in the past that she can help with Quran and recitations, etc, I was happy and thanked her. Every time we meet I can't but help thinking that she has really got it 'all together', she came from a family that was not very religious and she has now incorporated a more religious lifestyle - I kind of felt she was a very dedicated Muslimah - I am sure that she is and I would never imagine saying she was not - but slowly my perceptions were eroding away into reality.

Now back to my story.
That same night we were there for Iftar and it came time to pray, she said "do you mind?" I of course said, "no why would I mind?" I was too shy and to ask her if I could say Salah with her, so I just sat in the corner of the room on the floor and watched her discretely, wishing that I would have had more courage to tell her that I wished to pray as well. She came back from doing her washing and I sat there thinking that I will just follow along in my heart the words and movements to what she is doing, at least in a small way I could participate. So she starts, and I start in my head with "Allahu akbar, Bismillahir rahmannir rahim, Alhamduillah ..." and I kid you not she was already doing the rukoo (bowing) so I stopped my recitation and just started to watch her more closely and I just could not believe how fast she was doing the prayers! Now, I do understand the longer you have been performing the prayers the faster it must go since you know the recitations so well, but I just could never imagine doing it so fast - it some how looses a bit of the 'feeling'. I take Salah as the part of the day to slow down and contemplate the day and above all thank God for everything he has given to me - can it be meaningful and heartfelt in just 5 minutes (She was doing Isha prayer). When I told my husband he said that out in the other room he had experienced much the same scenario, Mr. S. was doing speed praying as well. Needless to say it dimmed my thoughts on her - I hate to say it but is doing the 5 prayers quickly better than doing maybe 1-2 slowly and heartfelt? I realize this is entirely between God and the individual but still it nagged at my heart for a long time, even now when I think back on it. There was one more small incident that happened, and I shudder to relate this for fear that it may constitute backbiting, but I just need to get it out in the open (venting a bit I suppose) and may God forgive me if it sounds like backbiting. It was time to give donations, and we gave our zakat the 2.5% due of all Muslims. Mr and Mrs. S. are very active in a certain community and they give quite frequently to that organization, now hubby dear is not really apart of that community but he has donated in the past to this organization. Well , Mrs. S. felt that my hubby had to donate more and proceeded to tell him this, in a very demeaning manner - basically she informed him that as a man he should be giving more money , and that she as a woman was donating at least the same amount he had pledged. Ok, jaw to the floor , I mean really was that necessary and was that the best way of saying it? Needless to say that hubby felt hurt by the remark and did not say anything else to her. Another chip, another break in my perception of 'piety' - I should have know better than to base my perceptions on clothing and outward appearances, Mashallah I feel a bit more relieved and stronger in my faith, realizing that we all have our struggles!

Fajr Prayer - Quiet reflection

There is something peaceful about waking up early dawn to perform Fajr (early morning prayer). It just feels so right in waking up and giving thanks to your creator, giving thanks that you are able to open your eyes and see another new day. For me personally I find that these small moments in time are the ones to cherish. When there is no noise from the outside world, no noise from inside the house; this is when your soul is at peace - a time to talk to God.
It only takes five minutes to perform the prayer but I have to admit that it feels much longer than that. I feel as though there is nothing in the world, only the room, myself and God - isn't that how it should be? How wonderful is it that Islam gives you a chance to be in contact with God. Just think about it, you have an opportunity to do this five times a day, five times you are given the chance to ask for repentance, ask for help!

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) once compared it to a stream running by a house. "If a person were to wash in the stream," he said, "five times a day, would any dirt remain on his body?" "None," replied his Companions. And he remarked, "So it is with the five daily prayers, with which God wipes away faults."

Inshallah we all will have the opportunity to 'wipe' away our sins and have the chance to be 'better' than we are today!

Moderation in everything

Bukhari -Volume 8, Book 76, Number 471:

Narrated 'Aisha:

Allah's Apostle said, "Do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately and know that your deeds will not make you enter Paradise, and that the most beloved deed to Allah's is the most regular and constant even though it were little."

Bukhari Volume 8 Book 79 Number 470

Narrated Abu Huraira:

Allah's Apostle said, "The deeds of anyone of you will not save you (from the (Hell) Fire)." They said, "Even you (will not be saved by your deeds), O Allah's Apostle?" He said, "No, even I (will not be saved) unless and until Allah bestows His Mercy on me. Therefore, do good deeds properly, sincerely and moderately, and worship Allah in the forenoon and in the afternoon and during a part of the night, and always adopt a middle, moderate, regular course whereby you will reach your target (Paradise)."

These 2 verses of Hadith really get me thinking about how we should be careful in all of our practices and avoid being too extreme in anything! Basically take the middle road in all your practices, in prayer, and in life in general. As well it shows that it is not the big deeds in life, it is the smaller and consistent ones! sure donating hundreds or thousands of dollars is a very good thing and would help many people, but giving perhaps $20 dollars every month for years will have a greater impact on many more people! Be regular with prayers, and charity, the Quran says this over and over again, why do we not listen and take heed, instead we stumble upon who does and does not wear hijab or the debate whether the beard is sunnah or fard! People, we need to get back to basics, we need to focus on really what is important ... we must all find out what that is for each of us!!

Eid al-Adha

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said,
“You are supposed to fast with people, and celebrate the `Eid with them, and perform sacrifice with the people.”

“Surely Abraham was an example, obedient to Allah, by nature upright, and he was not of the polytheists. He was grateful for Our bounties. We chose him and guided him unto a right path. We gave him good in this world, and in the next he will most surely be among the righteous.” (Qur’an 16:120-121)

And “We made him (Abraham) pure in this world and in the hereafter; he is most surely among the righteous. When his Lord said to him, ‘Submit,’ he said, ‘I submit myself to the Lord of the Worlds.’” (Qur’an 2:130-131)

I can't help but be in wonderment and awe of the faith of Abraham - I mean how many of us can really truly honestly say that we could have gone through the same ordeal as he did and come away with a stronger faith?
Just as in the month of Ramadan, Eid al-Adha makes me think of all the less fortunate in the world, those who are suffering, those with no food or shelter - these times I am so grateful to God. I love the idea of distributing the food three ways; one portion to the poor, the second portion to your family and the last portion stays within your close family. What better way to celebrate the sacrifice made by Abraham and an excellent reminder of the plight of the poor.

“It is not their meat nor their blood that reaches Allah; it is your piety that reaches Him.” (Surah Al-Hajj 22:37)

I hope and pray that all of us are always reminded of how lucky and blessed we are to be able to celebrate this festival and that we never lose sight of those who are in the greatest of need!

Peaceful Prayers

Salam & Peace to all... today I feel a bit introspective and feel like posting something nice instead of something that stirs controversy or very deep thought.
One of the most beautiful things I find in Islam is the way that Muslims pray. Five times a day you stop what you do and engage in a remembrance of God (Alhamdulillah - all praise belongs to God). For me the most special is when I am alone and the room is darkened and I have lots of time and patience - rather clarity of mind- to devote to prayer. I truly feel a wave of serenity take over me and whatever has happened in the day, whatever anyone has said or done to me, I know that God is always there when I call out to Him. I stand there calm my mind, trying to forget the light streaming in from the blinds outside, forget the work that waits for me tomorrow, and lift up my hands and say "Allahu Akbar - God is greatest" With that powerful statement I start my prayers, ask God for forgiveness, ask for help and ask for strength to get through another day - another day where I may praise Him and realize exactly how lucky we all are to be able to stand and offer thanks and praise.

Quiet Reflection

November 16 2005 - Quiet reflection

I just changed my display picture ... I found that picture of a woman alone in a room praying...and I can't explain it but it was so peaceful and wonderful.

I long for a time that I can pray like that ...to be free and at peace with myself ... to truly only hear the sound of your own breathing and to know that you are alone with your Lord and Creator...

Been lately a bit of a lapse in my prayers... I probably should not admit that here publicly (read somewhere that you should not divulge your bad habits, etc. only relate what is good) but in my relating a bit of my weakness' I hope that someone out there that is at a weak moment will take heart that it does happen to us all...we are after all only human!

Has anyone ever felt like this? I mean I just got so overwhelmed by the idea that I will have to pray 5 times a day for the rest of my life !! Now I'm not saying it is a burden...that's not how I mean it at all. I suppose it will take time to get used to all of this...and incorporate it into my life - right now I'm not able to perform all of the prayers always...Inshallah that will change one day. Seems we're always working on things in life and our faith is one of the most improtant of them... I am grateful that I have been led to this faith and can only hope that I can lead my life in prayer and worship and be a 'good' person ... so that perhaps one day I will be able to pray in that little room...