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Showing posts with label convert. Show all posts
Showing posts with label convert. Show all posts

12/23/10

"haha...I thought I saw you wearing a scarf...hahaha"

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all


So yesterday I met up with a friend for lunch and some shopping.  Went to a busy mall (well, they are all busy now with the holidays coming up)  and she was looking for me and couldn't easily find me (I was in H&M -blush)  when we finally met up, she says: "Oh I saw a woman who looked just like you in a headscarf...I mean really it looked like you and I thought 'no, she didn't, did she'?"

Well, that's just so funny because I was thinking before meeting her, what would she say if I showed up in a scarf! LOL Was it a sign to wear the scarf....well, I know its not...but it was a funny scene.
This is the same friend who was like "you're Muslim...I didn't realize that!" this was after I had told her that I was.  Anyway...later on in the conversation she says: "So did you put your christmas tree up yet" Then two seconds later "oh yeah you're Muslim...so what did you do for Eid?"  Yeah well then it came, "We didn't do anything..." sigh... Came home that night and told hubby that ok for next year we're totally doing SOMETHING for Eid...inviting our non-muslim friends, etc!  (we always get invited to x-mas parties, etc) so thats it decided...next year I'll inshallah have an answer to the question "what did you do for Eid?"

Anyways...thats how my yesterday was!



12/15/10

Dressing modestly and fashionably when you are...

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

Ok, so lately I've been feeling all like I really need to dress more modestly (ok, I don't wear revealing things...just sometimes make bad choices ...lol) well, actually I want to be more fashionable!  I have a little boy who Mashallah takes up most of my time but now that he is almost one years old....I'm finding a bit more time to dedicate to myself.  So, because of that I want to seem more 'put-together' oh and I'm playing around with the idea of wearing a scarf (MAYBE ...IT'S A BIG STEP NOT SURE IF I CAN DO IT - ok so I need to work on my dedication to prayer, etc before I can even think of wearing it full time - and don't everyone jump on me about its fard...etc I KNOW ALL OF THAT - we all have our journeys...)  Anywho! I browse the hijab style blogs and I am so fascinated by all the girls who are so lovely and put together...mashallah.  I've always wanted to be fashionable and 'put-together' but I've never been able to really master it... so that is what Im trying to do now!  So basically my question is...How do you dress modestly when you are AHHRRRRHMMM (cough cough) approaching mid-thirties, have a crawling baby and hubby to attend to?  Here are some pics I've found of fashions I like...opinions please!


I just feel like so many of the fashions are too 'young' for me now...so I really need some great ideas!
Love the fashions of Hijab Revival

Im also not too much of a long skirt/dress person...depends on the skirt really...(wide hips!)  For now I'm kind of in the jeans mode...lol comfy!

I'm going to post some of my 'ideas' for me...I'll do this after MIL leaves LOL


 

12/10/10

Ah its that time again...gingerbread, candy canes and ...

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

After being a convert for five years you would really think that I would have gotten over the whole christmas idea? Well, in a way I have but in others I have not, especially since we have a baby now. I love seeing the lights on the houses, and how lovely they are all decorated, I love walking in the mall and seeing all the happy children taking photos with Santa and then I get a bit sad that my child will not be able to experience those things.  This is one aspect of being a convert that really SUCKS!  I told hubby dear that next year we will have to make Eid a very special time for our son, so that he will not be left out ( I think its for me too...I miss all those 'holiday' feelings)  Hubby sees that I get slightly depressed at not getting to enjoy the holiday's, he even said 'why don't you take the child to get a picture with Santa'  I was only half tempted.  For him its really doesn't mean anything...religious or not...its just christmas and this is what they do here (as in decorations and things) he didn't grow up with it and he has none of the 'emotions' that I have linked to it.  Family dinners, presents, everyone trying to be 'happy' and 'loving' to each other, those are the things I miss.  So I think I'll try and combine these things...I can make a nice dinner any night, and make the special dishes that I had growing up (doesn't have to be on the 24th or 25th of December)  I can give presents to my family just because I 'love' them and not because it is the 25th of December, and most of all I think I'll really try and make an effort to be more happy and loving!  So what do you think .... is it a good plan??

9/29/09

Christianity to Islam - a Nun's story

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

I came across this youtube video that I think is very good for Catholics to view! She talks very calmly and mashallah with lots of good examples and information! I hope one day to get the courage to show this to my mom - please pray for me but mostly for her to be guided to the straight path!




8/17/09

Mom and an abaya

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

Ok so here is my Abaya/Mom story ... first of all just as a reminder....
my Mom does not know about me converting (yeah still)

So one afternoon we were in a mall, she was looking for some 'house dresses' and as we were walking down an aisle I see a store that looks like it has some of those kinds of dresses. Just as an aside this mall has many indians/muslims - this becomes important because the store we went into was an Islamic store, tons of abayas and shalwars...etc
So needless to say it was a 'big' step to go into that store. It's not like my Mom would be against going in...just not something we would be doing. I had told my mom that i wanted to get something like an abaya for when im 'bigger' in my pregnancy, its comfy...etc she was like ok (it's always a surprise how my Mom will react to things!) so anyway... we saw rows and rows of abayas on the shelf, they were so nice andboth of us were ohhing and ahhhing at how lovely they were!
So I decided to start to look at some more seriously, that is when the woman came over and started to help me to try them on. Long story short we ended up buying an abaya for me (well my mom paid for it) and she bought one for herself....a simple plain black one! (Once again wonders never cease!)
While we were at the cash register, with the same woman who was helping us, she looked over and took 2 sunglasses and said here for you both free! She was so kind and helping and now here she was offering more to us... my Mom just looked at her and said 'no we can't accept this' the woman was all like 'no no please take it' and all smiling. So then I asked if they had a prayer compass (I don't have very much opportunity to be in an Islamic store, so I took my chance!) and she did...and gave me a discount on it mashallah!
Of course my mom asked what that is..i told her but said it's for hubby (well I can't win all the battles can I ? ) Then as we were leaving the store i said to her 'assalam alaikum
my mom was like oh what is that you said ....did you say bye in her language my mom right well knows that there is no Muslim language but anyway i told her that i said 'peace be upon you' and that she replied to me 'and you as well' which was a great lead into me telling her that in fact in the Hungarian Catholic Church you would always greet the priests that way and they had to reply back to you she was like...yes you are right.

I could see that my Mom was affected by all of this, and to be honest so was I. That sales woman was so friendly and caring, I can't help but be thankful that God put us in that position, so perhaps my mom would see what 'real' Muslims are like. It is at least a step in a good direction...inshallah it continues that way!

Oh btw, anyone interested in what kind of abaya I bought? It's a split one, with
red flowers embroidered on the sleeves and the bottom...I'll try and take a picture
and post it later on!

4/1/09

A question ...



Assalam alaikum & Peace to all


I got asked today a very good question:
Why are you uncomfortable sharing Islam with your family?

I had to think quite a lot about this and really to be honest, I don't have a good answer for it. But me being me...I'll give you some insights as to why I have a hard time telling/sharing Islam with my family.

First of all it's mostly because my Mother does not know, and telling her right now I fear she will become ill - and I mean really ill. She has been through a lot of difficulties and to be frank she is getting older and does not handle change very well lately. I have been so close to telling her about twice now, but each time I kind of wimp out of it. I have talked to her about Islam and she knows that it is something I know about, obviously because my husband is Muslim! Now there is
the part that would probably make things easier, you would think? I sometimes think that she already figures that I have changed religions for 'him' (the classic answer) and that me telling her would only serve to confirm her thoughts, but I cannot be sure of that. I'm sure many of you are thinking...well just tell her and get over it! Yeah I would love to and as this is not a TV episode that ends in half and hour and has a neat and tidy - huggy huggy ending, I will have to deal with
the outcome of it. I have however given my mom some articles to read and have even given her
some verses of Quran (although she does not know they are from Quran - yeah I know, sneaky, but I pray that it was not something wrong to do!) She asked me where it came from, I said 'online' (blush)

Secondly I am not really that close with my family, only a cousin and his family, his mother. (My Aunt) We don't really have a big family. So that leaves my friends, which I have a few really good ones, and some more casual ones. Only 5 or 6 of them know that I am Muslim and it only came
out casually in conversation and thankfully they did not make a big deal of it! (I don't like being the center of attention!)

All of my co-workers do not know... and there is a reason, well two. One is that the woman who hired me is a friend to my cousin....so if one knows the other will know as well. You do the math! Second is that people here are very un-receptive towards anyone really different, I mean if I were to show up in a headscarf, well let's just say I don't know what would happen.

I can just hear some of you bloggers out there saying... 'oh those are not good reasons at all'
Well you know what, you are probably right but for me right now at this stage I am at, this is how it has to be. I can only pray that inshallah one day I have the strength and Iman to face people and proudly say I am Muslim! That day has not come.

Being an anonymous face in the blogging world gives me a strength that I do not feel in the outside world. Perhaps it is because it is anonymous, but it is so much easier to be myself here online. Isn't that funny that it takes a pseudo life to feel as if you are living your real life?

Well so right here right now... I am proud to be Muslim and I thank Allah that it was brought into my life and Inshallah I want to grow and learn everyday in this wonderful, peaceful religion! I also pray that one day I will be able to share all of this with my family and friends!

2/12/09

How to learn how to pray... my journey



Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

Hey, i have a question for you to ponder! In general, i am curious to hear about how you, as a westerner, learned to pray in Islam, both the language and the ritual of it all is SO intimidating to me. I understand and respect why it is so important in the faith, but i feel like i could never learn to do it right. does that make sense? Maybe you can do me a favor and post a blog entry about it, i am sure other people might also be wondering?

I got this question posed to me by another blogger/On-line friend and I thought it would be a great post to write about! So that is exactly what I am going to do, Inshallah.

Learning to pray for me was a very big step and it was the single most important thing after saying the Shahada. I had looked up how to pray and what it all meant and felt confident that I would be able to do it, one day. So for the first time I wore a headscarf, making sure my clothing was proper (nothing open and well covered) I had printed out a copy of the prayer 'wording', I had re-copied it so that I would be able to pronounce it as it sounded. (found many places online that had a 'recitor' so at least I could hear how it should be sounding.) So, that was it, I was ready to pray or at least try to. I was filled with a sense of fulfilment, I would finally be able to offer prayer!

Ok, so I made the intention in my heart ( 4 rakats of Isha prayer) with my handy paper I was ready! Ah...yeah hold on, how was I supposed to do the movements and recite the words at the same time? Hmm, well this was not going to work now was it? No... it did not. A moment ago I was overcome with fulfilment and now I was in despair. How was I to do the prayers if I cannot recite the words? How was I to do the movements without reciting? Frustration, yes that is what I felt the first time I tried to pray. Sorry it was not the magic moment that I thought it would be. I actually do remember taping the paper to the wall and looking at it and doing the movements, this became awkward and I realized that I would have to memorize the whole thing!! Gak... but it was long and it was in Arabic? How was I supposed to do that?

Well, as with all things, patience was required. I decided to start at the beginning and learn the most important things first - this being Al-Fathia (the first chapter of the Quran and the first verse you must recite in each prayer) Let me tell you that it took a long time to memorize it all.
To make matters worse, I (just because I am who I am... inquisitive and all!) wanted to make sure that I knew what I was reciting, so that meant I had to memorize this in English as well!
Yes, I know, why not just recite the thing and don't worry about the meaning.
That is very easy to say and do...but I did not want to follow this religion blindly! I had grown up with that... 'just believe, have faith, don't question things...etc' Well I needed to know what I was saying! The first words that were revealed to Prophet Mohammed was 'read!

96:1 Read: In the name of thy Lord who createth,
96:2
Createth man from a clot.
96:3
Read: And thy Lord is the Most Bounteous,
96:4
Who teacheth by the pen,
96:5
Teacheth man that which be knew not.

I always loved this about Islam, we must not be ignorant and follow blindly, we must go out and search for knowledge! So, that is what I did. I slowly began memorizing the first verse. I did it line by line. After knowing that first line I would move on to the next one. Each night I would practice it, saying it in Arabic then in English, hoping that I would remember everything. So little by little I did learn it. I started the prayers with the parts that I knew... and to be honest the main parts of the prayer performance the words are quite short. Like when you go down to bow its called Ruku, you say 'Subhana rabbi al-azeem' Glory be to God, the Great - three times. Then for when you kneel down (sujud) you say 'Subhana rabbi al-a laa' Glory be to God, the most High - three times. As well when you start the prayer you say, 'Allahu Akbar' Allah is the Greatest. So as you can see many of the words are quite simple to remember!

I really can't say when I memorized the whole thing... it's just a process and it will take everyone their own time. I am still learning verses, as you need to recited different verses in each prayer, well ideally you should. As a convert you are allowed some leniency, you are not expected to learn everything right away, God knows this and therefore you should take time and enjoy the experience of learning. I can't say it was easy, as it really was not! But now I have a great sense of accomplishment, that I have been able to memorize it all and really understand what it is I am saying. Yes, honestly I do forget a bit about the English meaning occasionally, but I always like to look back and see what it means exactly and it is never far from my mind.

So that is how I started out... would love to hear all your stories, either on my comments or in a blog of your own!!



1/29/09

Women & the Mosque



Assalam alaikum & Peace to all


I just came across this website and found this article...I really like what it has to say. Please read it and let me know what you all think (I have only pasted a portion of the article...click the title of the article to read the whole thing!)

An Eid gone awry

January 20, 2009 by Roberta D
Filed under Featured, Women's Rights

I’d ironed my abaya and scarf the night before, and set multiple wake-up alarms on my cell phone. About half an hour after fajr ended, I headed out of the apartment to the cozy mosque up the street where I often pray on weekends. I was extra excited because although I’d been living in İstanbul for over a year, I had been out of the country for the last few Eids, meaning it would be my first Eid prayer in Turkey.

As I rounded the corner, quietly reciting the Eid takbeer, I reminded myself that I would probably be one of very few women there. Turkish women don’t traditionally attend Eid or Friday prayers at the mosque; it’s just not the cultural practice. But I knew from my own experience that there were usually a handful of younger women that showed up for the khutbah on Fridays, and their numbers were steadily if slowly growing.

With that image in mind, I ignored the stares of the couple of men standing around near the entry to the mosque complex and scanned the mosque courtyard for any women as I took off my shoes. None. When I entered the mosque itself, it was more of the same: Though the mosque was by no means full, there were only men in it. The building’s construction is such that the women’s prayer area is actually in a separate room to the right, so I headed there. I walked in, and it looked mostly empty except someone I saw out of the corner of my eye sitting way in the back. Success — almost.

I was putting my shoes away when I realized that there was a man sitting in the front of the room. Hmm… I looked toward the back, where I thought I had seen an old woman as I walked in, but no, he was actually an old man. I sighed, having expected at least one other woman to be there, and at the very least no men in the women’s section! More than a little deflated, I went to collect my shoes and head out. In the same space of time it had taken me to figure out that this wasn’t going to work out as planned (maybe 10 seconds) it seems that the men in the mosque had come to the same conclusion. An older man rushed into the women’s section, and (assuming the combination of brown skin and an abaya meant I was an Arab) began shouting “Laa! Laa! Laa! [No, no, no!]” and gesticulating frantically. I left, undergoing a second round of stares on my way out of the mosque, through the courtyard, and out the main entrance. So much for my first Eid prayer in Turkey!

So much for the Eid prayer … and so much for the Sunnah too:

I think that this is such an important thing to discuss for women in Islam.
I have to relate a wonderful thing that happened to me and I can only pray that other Imams will be so open minded and equal. I went for Taraweeh prayers and mashallah the mosque was absolutely full of worshipers, the Sisters area was a balcony and it was full. I ended up sitting on the stairs along with many other Sisters, we were all wondering how we were going to offer the prayers? So then the Iman told the men to come up more to the front to make room for the Sisters, then he invited us to come down and pray behind the men. Mashallah I stood up and practically ran, because I so much wanted to experience a prayer service where I was on the same level as the Iman and could see him and hear him properly! So Mashallah that Taraweeh was a very special one for me. I really think there has to be more discussion and willingness to provide a space for women, even better if it is all in the same room!

Just found one more article...

S.F. mosque drops gender barrier -- worshipers are still adjusting


San Francisco's largest mosque -- a Tenderloin refuge for more than 400 Muslims -- has taken the revolutionary step of removing the 8-foot wall separating male and female worshipers.

No other Bay Area immigrant mosque has torn down such a barrier, several Muslim leaders said, and the move is rare in the United States. But leaders at the Islamic Society of San Francisco, citing the opinions of scholars, say Islam provides no justification for the partitions that separate men and women in most immigrant mosques around the country.

1/27/09

The mundane can be beautiful


Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

Thought I would update you all with what I've been up to. Well in short NOTHING, I mean nothing out of the ordinary. I wake up go to work, stay there for nine hours, drive home, make dinner, then sleep and do it again the next day! Very boring but sometimes I really like the 'boring' but the only time I really appreciate the boring is when my life turns upside down. I sit and think wow it would be nice if things were ordinary again. I long for the mundane in those times.
I am happy to announce that I have been keeping up with the daily prayers much better, mashallah it is amazing really that I am able to get in more prayers - I have always struggled with this but for the past four days I have made a conscious effort to keep them up. It is a struggle, truly. I know that most will say but you 'have' to do them, you have to keep up the prayers, it is not something difficult to take out five to ten minutes to do them. Well, all I say to those is that nobody, NOBODY knows their own situation other than themselves. I won't go into the details of how and why I was not able to perform all of my daily prayers, but will say that it has become a bit easier and I have to thank Allah for that!
I started this blog to relate to people how beautiful and difficult this religion is, or rather to be a convert. There is always talk that you should not reveal your sins, yes ok, I can agree to that. It is between you and Allah, however I do believe that reading about somebodies struggles can empower you to make changes in your own life. I know that when I have read about others who have had struggles to overcome I can relate and I can gauge my own progress to see where I need to improve. Let's not forget one thing, we are all human and to see people fail does not make them weak, it makes them ordinary, makes them 'real'.

So let me relate to you why I suddenly decided that I need to be more vigilant with keeping up the prayers. I got very scared of the fact that one day at the end of my life I will have to answer so many questions. I will be asked by Allah why did I not pray on time, why did I not say all the prayers, etc. I tried to imagine what I would say, but I could not come up with one good answer. Sure I have all the excuses, we've all heard them and done them. I am tired, I am lazy, I cannot do it because of work, because of people around me, the water is cold for wudu, I have no water for wudu. Are any of these real reasons? No, they are not. So when I think of the time I will be standing in front of my creator, the one who knows me better than anyone ever can, I can't help but think that those excuses are horrid. Allah has made provisions for everything. For example if you have no water you can do the dry ablution, tayammum. If you are travelling you can shorten certain prayers. I believe with a sincere heart that if I make an effort and my intentions are to keep the prayers it will benefit me, but only Allah knows if my prayers are accepted. So on the day of questioning I feel that if I can at least say, 'I tried to keep the prayers, I have offered them in the best way that I could'. I feel that at least there is the intention of offering it, and that has to be better than leaving the prayers entirely! Inshallah!

Allah Almighty knows best.

So I go on with my life, the mundane and perhaps even boring life... but think that it is good and I am thankful for these moments of 'boredom' and pray that whatever life throws at me, I will be able to handle it!

1/25/09

Nice to chat and learn...



Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

I've had a 'board' for reverts/converts to Islam and its seen some activity but not too much, for whatever reason it never really took off. I thought I would post the address and have all you wonderful people check it out and let me know if I should 'close' it or delete it or whatever you do with a board.

Oh by the way there is a chat feature there...so if nothing else its a place to get together to chat to other Sisters !!

http://www.4reverts.proboards56.com/index.cgi

1/19/09

Does God choose you or do you choose God or both?


Assalam alaikum & Peace to all...

Another re-post of an old blog - February 9th 2007 12:00 AM


Going to try to blog a bit more again...we'll see how it goes.

Just a random thought that popped into my mind at this late hour (11:44pm) so forgive the spelling and grammar errors!

So that is the question : Does God choose you or do you choose God or both?

I would like to think its both, ultimately you choose to have faith or not. I was just commenting to my mother that we cannot see God, or touch or feel God but we have faith that God is 'there ' or 'here' or whatever you may think. That knowledge is faith, it sometimes is unshakable, sometimes it lacks conviction, and even sometimes it just floats away... I tend to have it float a lot these days...but with God's help I have managed to 'catch' it again. My religious convictions take many turns and dips, but hey that's life right? Right! (says she in the middle of the night with one eye open !! ) I chose the path of Islam right now... so do I regret it ...of course not...but sometimes thoughts do float on in that say: "What exactly did I do? What is expected of me now? What will my future look like now? Does anything really have to change that much?? A whole lot of questions that I am currently looking for answers to...anyone know an 'answer store' ??
OK, so what did I exactly do? I changed religions...OK next. What is expected of me... not much it seems... just live a life where you believe in God and worship God only... OK can do that, what else? What will my future look like... Only God knows, and you know what...that is fine by me, I don't feel like 'predicting' what my life will be like because I can never know where my life will lead me, or to whom or to what situation. I will just have to roll on and deal with all that comes my way!! It seems I've answered my own questions... (wow light bulb moment I guess!!) Not really... I am still struggling with so many things in life.
God has chosen me to walk this path... All praise to God (Alhamduillah) but it is not without its trials or hardships but I have to keep reminding myself that it is also not without its joys or happiness. I thank God everyday ...that me and my family and friends are safe...I thank God that I can open my eyes in the morning and see the gray, blue or even black skies. I thank God that I have a roof over my head and heating to keep me safe and warm! I thank God for choosing me to live this life and not an others life. I choose to thank God for all of these blessings !! I believe God will help me and all those others who have chosen His way!

( A small prayer I say each night )

God please watch over all the believing people of the world
and all those people who have fallen off the path, please lead them back to the path
and for those who do not know the path, please guide them to it.

~Amen~

Comments:

salam, i voted God chooses, yes we both choose but in the end it is God that wants you on his path. I always remember that Shaitan can deviate u from the path, but in the end if God has chosen you, u will eventually get to his path. I remember telling someone who refuses to make future plans that you can make your plans and do what you want, if God has his plan and its different you will eventually get there it will just take more time and effort, but in the end Allahu alim (God knows best) Thanks for this post sis, I like to keep in touch with how you are feeling :) Fi amenallah

A salaam alaikum. I like this post, it is a good question. I think it's both. We all know that Allah guides whom he wills, it's obvious because not everyone is blessed with this beautiful deen. Alhamdulillah God chose us, but whether we accept Allah's will is on us. So we make that choice also. Also those questions that you ask yourself are ones that I and I'm sure other Muslims ask themselves as well (especially us reverts). You know that life is a struggle in every aspect, so just because we become Muslim doesn't mean that will change. We will still have questions, obstacles, difficulties, etc. We just have have a better way to deal with them (trusting only in Allah). So take care sister and know that you are not alone in your endeavors.
P.S. Mind if I steal your prayer, or do you have copyrights on it? LOL.That is a prayer that is suffice for us all.


Aalya
Wa alaikum assalam...
Thanks for the comments Ammena "but in the end if God has chosen you, u will eventually get to his path" how true that is!
Nope no copyright...unless you can copyright my thoughts...lol...Its just a small prayer that I thought up one night..I always struggled with the idea 'am I leaving anyone out of my prayers?' So this kind of encompasses everyone!

Assalamu alaikom,
I think ups and downs in faith are normal. I see it regularly online that a sister is feeling a low (and upset about it) and I've been there myself so I sympathize!
I think the answer is both because we have to meet God halfway. Nothing comes for free and we have to earn this, I think. And I can't remember if it's hadith or a Qur'an verse that says if we try even just a little, extend our hand just a little, God will come running into our lives. So there you go, it's "both". :)
Anyway, I hope you are doing alright and I'm glad to see you blogging again.

Aalya
"I think ups and downs in faith are normal"
That is so true... just because you are Muslims does not mean you are immune to feeling up and down...none of us is perfect!
Thanks!


Yes. Remind yourself that none of us are perfect. Even the seemingly most pious Muslim you know has inner struggles and periods of lower or higher iman. It's completely natural.
To me, I think the best game plan is to always adhere to what you consider the basics. Stick through the low periods, try to maintain the basics at least so that you avoid that downward spiral of guilt feelings, and then when your outlook improves, you can put it behind you without any lingering guilt or bad feelings.
I say that not because I think you should feel guilty about anything, or because I think you are or are not keeping the basics of the faith, but only because I know from my own struggles and those of friends and acquaintances online, that we beat ourselves up too much about our shortcomings and that guilt often brings us even lower.


12/30/08

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone...



Assalam alaikum & Peace to all


I get so tired of reading all the negative things about Islam. It grates on my nerves when uneducated (as well as educated ones - those are worse!) people go about spewing hatred and mis-quote and mis-interpreted verses from Quran. Well you know what, many other religions have quotations that can be taken the wrong way and they are never questioned...instead they are pushed aside yet with Islam it is plastered all over the place! Well you know what its about time I plaster some other things on the wall... this may come off as a 'two wrongs don't make a right' be it so but my intentions for posting these are to make people aware of their own sayings and writings.
Take it with a grain of salt, grow a tough skin, whatever you want but please be informed and knowledgeable - research it and defend it if you want - I would love to get some rebuttals for these verses. Had I seen these verses when I was Catholic I would have for sure run to my Bible to make sure it wasn't in there, and if I saw them in there, it would have made me question my faith. Perhaps there is a need for that? Inshallah (God-willing) we will all learn!

Bear with me its a long post but something I feel needs to be 'out there' for all to see!

The following is from the website www.bible.ca -the parts not in italics are the written words from that site - My comments are in red.

1 Corinthians 14:34-36 we read, "Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church, for Adam was formed first, then Eve."

The reason women are to be submissive and not speak in the worship of the church is God has specified that the man is to rule over the woman. Many people do not approve of what God has done, but this is still God’s business. As we read in Romans 9:20,
"But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, Why have you made me like this?"
Who are we to question God?

But then we find this in the New Testament : Luke 10:38-39
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said.
Funny how the woman is supposed to learn from her husband, yet Jesus is in the house teaching women.
As well Jesus says:
Luke : 35 But wisdom is proved right by all her children.

Also Jesus refers to women as daughters of Abraham - it was a term only used for men at that time but Jesus used it for women as well...hmm makes you think doesn't it?
Luke 13:16 And ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham

Jesus also had female disciples:
Luke 8:1-3 And it came to pass afterward, that he went throughout every city and village, preaching and shewing the glad tidings of the kingdom of God: and the twelve were with him,
2.
And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary called Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils, 3. And Joanna the wife of Chuza Herod's steward, and Susanna, and many others, which ministered unto him of their substance.

More ambiguity:
Galatians 3:28, "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
So now they are equal?
I thought women were not to lead or to be 'learned' from (certainly should not have been a prophetess?)
Exodus 15:20, "Then Miriam the prophetess, the sister of Aaron, took the timbrel in her hand; and all the women went out after her with timbrels and with dances." And Micah gave her the rank of a leader as Moses and Aaron in Micah 6:4, "For I brought you up from the land of Egypt, I redeemed you from the house of bondage; and I sent before you Moses, Aaron, and Miriam."
So one has to think: How come God changed his mind (Astaghafirullah-I seek forgiveness from God) from the Old to New testament? So what is the real status of women then? Let's just look at a passage from the Quran:
4:124 As for those who lead a righteous life, male or female, while believing, they enter Paradise; without the slightest injustice.
3:35 The submitting men, the submitting women, the believing men, the believing women, the obedient men, the obedient women, the truthful men, the truthful women, the steadfast men, the steadfast women, the reverent men, the reverent women, the charitable men, the charitable women, the fasting men, the fasting women, the chaste men, the chaste women, and the men who commemorate GOD frequently, and the commemorating women; GOD has prepared for them forgiveness and a great recompense.
And just for the record - Adam and Eve have sinned...not like in Judeo-Christian beliefs that Eve is evil (astafiruallah)
7:20-22 The devil whispered to them, in order to reveal their bodies, which were invisible to them. He said, "Your Lord did not forbid you from this tree, except to prevent you from becoming angels, and from attaining eternal existence." He swore to them, "I am giving you good advice." He thus duped them with lies. As soon as they tasted the tree, their bodies became visible to them, and they tried to cover themselves with the leaves of Paradise. Their Lord called upon them: "Did I not enjoin you from that tree, and warn you that the devil is your most ardent enemy?"

Now the ever popular statement, "Islam is spread by the sword" - This is kind of an interesting statement coming from Jesus who was proclaimed in Isaiah 9:6: A child will be born to us. A son will be given to us. He will rule over us. And he will be called Wonderful Adviser and Mighty God. He will also be called Father Who Lives Forever and Prince Who Brings Peace.
Matthew 10: 34-39
Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it."


Luke 12:49-53
I have come to cast fire upon the earth; and how I wish it were already kindled! 50 But I have a baptism* to undergo, and how distressed I am until it is accomplished! 51 Do you suppose that I came to grant peace on earth? I tell you, no, but rather division; 52 for from now on five members in one household will be divided, three against two and two against three. 53 They will be divided, father* against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.


Luke 14:26
If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children
and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple."
'

In the Quran:
Allah says: “The Messenger’s duty is but to proclaim the Message.” [Sûrah al-Mâ’idah: 99]

Allah says: “So if they dispute with you, say ‘I have submitted my whole self to Allah, and so have those who follow me.’ And say to the People of the Scripture and to the unlearned: ‘Do you also submit yourselves?’ If they do, then they are on right guidance. But if they turn away, your duty is only to convey the Message. And in Allah’s sight are all of His servants.” [Sûrah Âl `Imrân: 20]


I really hope that people reading this will open their eyes and learn about their own religions. This is not meant to provoke hate or ill-feelings, no, it is only to show that everything must be researched and learned. Do not go out into the world and spew hatred, maybe learn about yourselves first.

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone...

12/26/08

Well now you know...


Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

Just a short post to let you all know what I have been up to. As most of you know it was Christmas day on the 25th - spent the 24th with my mom (Note to Ammena - nothing happened with her, somehow the subject didn't come up and I couldn't bring myself to tell her anything...inshallah one day) So the 25th we were invited to some friend's house for dinner. There was six of us in total and we had a good time, laughing and having a nice meal. During the meal one of the people there goes to my husband 'so did you go to church?' (Insert dumbfounded look) I look at the person and make a face, and then the person realized what they were saying, 'oh sorry' Then the same person turns towards me and asks me if I went. (Once again a dumbfounded look) I just go, 'noooo' then the person goes oh your Orthodox right' I just say no, I'm not. 'Oh then you are protestant' Once again, nooo. In sheer frustration the person goes, 'your Presbyterian?' Then the other couple who was there (who knew what I am) says Muslim. Hubby goes, 'yes we're Muslims' - I must just interject that it was the nicest comment I have heard from hubby, it was so moving that he said "we're" mashallah. So anyway this person is reeling from the news (wasn't expecting me to be Muslim) saying, 'realllllyyyyy?' I said, yes reallllyyyyy. Then goes, 'wow I didn't know that' My comment back was, "Well, now you know"
It really was a new experience for me, as I have never really publically said I am Muslim but that night I felt proud to say it. Inshallah one day my family will know and the rest of my friends. Truly it was a bit liberating to finally get it out into the open, so that makes about six people who know I am Muslim. Perhaps one day the most important people will also know!

12/9/08

Prayer only or a community gathering place...



Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

Something has been in my mind recently about how a mosque is set up and used. First some background of where my ideas have come from. I was raised as a Catholic and as such we were expected to attend Church and with that "Sunday school", which was where you 'learned' about religion and were made into 'good little christians' (anyway you get the idea). After the school you were given cookies and juice and were sent off on your merrily way. The church was a meeting place of sorts, it was a place to meet with family and friends, as well as a place to pray and worship. I always liked the fact that there were programs set up for young and old, that you could go to socialize with like-minded people and perhaps engage in some learning as well - ok this was my ideal place, I know they existed because I've had friends who had a very enriching experience at church - I however did not experience this always -anyway on to my ideas now. I wondered if the Mosque should be such a place? Should it be a place to pray and worship as well as encourage the young and old to be active within the community? The quick answer is 'yes, of course it should be' but then when I think of it more I am hesitant, and my answer becomes... maybe not.
So with that question begins my research into this whole topic of what the mosque should be.
Found this article that seems to cover all my concerns and ideas.

Many people came to the Prophet offering their protection and hospitality. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) gratefully acknowledged their good feelings requesting them to release the leash of his she-camel, for it was directed by Allah to the place where the Prophet was to stay. Finally, the she-camel came to a halt. The Prophet descended and, later on, his Mosque (known in Arabic as: Al-Masjid An-Nabawi) was built at that place.

Thus, two mosques were built within a short period of time. This is a crystal-clear indication to the far-reaching role the mosque has to play in molding the shape of the community that is chosen by Almighty Allah to lead humanity in the spiritual, moral, and social change along the future history of humankind till the world comes to an end.

In his commentary on the Qur'an, Al-Qurtubi, a prominent explanator of the Qur'an wrote extensively on the two verses quoted below, bringing out a wide range of topics related to the mosque.

I shall touch on some of these topics:

The Function of the Mosque

In the Qur'an. There are a number of verses in the Qur'an that stress, most importantly, the spiritual function of the mosque. For example, Almighty Allah says,

(In Houses that Allah has allowed to be exalted and that His name will be remembered therein. Therein, do offer praise to Him, at morning and evening, men whom neither merchandise nor sale beguiles them from the remembrance of Allah and constancy in prayer and paying to the poor their due, men who fear the day on which hearts and eyeballs will be overturned.) (An-Nur 24:36-37)

...The mosques are the places for the regeneration of our spiritual power through prayers, the remembrance of Allah, recital of the Qur'an, and supplications. [According to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)], Mosques are the places the angels frequent most, where peace and tranquility descend upon those who are sitting there reciting and studying the Qur'an.Mosques are also the most suitable places for offering the prayer. They are aloof from the hustle and bustle of the streets, workplaces, or markets. At the mosque, a sense of sanctity and reverence replaces the worry and trouble of daily life. If the mind is troubled outside the mosque, it is at peace inside, for it is in communication with the ultimate source of comfort and spiritual joy.

In the Sunnah. There are different types of Sunnah. Here, the practical Sunnah is the one under discussion...
At Madinah, the Prophet was free to meet with his Companions at any time and in any place. The most suitable venue was the mosque. Since its establishment, the mosque assumed responsibilities that were not previously known to any place of worship. The life of the newly emerging community was gradually taking shape in and through the mosque.

The Prophet's Mosque Roles

The following exhibits, besides being a place for performing the prayers, the significant roles played by the Prophet's Mosque:

The mosque as a center for education. Islam is the religion of learning. Its miracle is a rational miracle; i.e., the Qur'an. The first revealed verses were about learning: reading and writing. There was no school or college to enroll in. The place where those seeking guidance could easily find what they sought was the mosque of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).

There are many references in which the importance of the mosque as a place of learning is emphasized. Al-Bukhari and Muslim related a story of three people entered the mosque; the Companions were sitting in a circle around the Prophet. One of the three found a place and sat in;, the second sat at the back, while the third went away. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, "The first person came forward, so Allah came forward to him. The second was shy, so Allah did not wish to embarrass him. The third turned away, so Allah turned away from him." No moral, spiritual incentive to learn could be more touching than such a parable.

The mosque as a shelter for the homeless. Many Muslims who migrated with the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) were single, homeless, and destitute. They were lodged in the mosque. They were known as the people of Suffah. Abu Hurairah was one of them. Also, when `Abdullah ibn Umar was young and single, the mosque was his bedroom. Moreover, the great mosques in the Muslim cities served as hostels for Muslim travelers.

The mosque as a nursing home. Rufaydah, one of the pious Companions of Prophet Muhammad, used to nurse sick people in the Prophet's Mosque. In her tent in the Mosque, she nursed Sa`d ibn Mu`adh, until he passed away.

The mosque as a place of entertainment on special occasions. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) encouraged that marriage be contracted and celebrated in the mosque. Furthermore, he allowed the Abyssinians to perform a folklore dance and `A'ishah was leaning on his shoulder and watching their performance.

These were among the most important roles the mosque played in molding the shape of the Muslim nation. Those roles continued in one way or another all through the Islamic history. Great mosques are still famous for their academic history: the Sacred Mosque in Makkah, the Prophet's Mosque in Madinah, Al-Aqsa Mosque, Al-Azhar Mosque, Az-Zaytouna Mosque, and Al-Qarawiyyin Mosque — the latter being the center of learning where great non-Muslim a lumnus like Pope Sylvester II, [who is credited with introducing the use of Arabic numerals and the concept of zero to Europe], studied.

Read the complete article here


Ok so it seems that historically the Mosque was used as a prayer place, school and a meeting place. Now, the real question is if this should be true today or not? We have schools, and meeting places do we really have to make the Mosque into something that we may not need? Here is my personal opinion on it. The Mosque should be a center and meeting place for Muslims, all of them, men, women and children. I think it would be great to go back and have the Mosque be a vibrant part of the community. The only thing is that I don't think that can happen. Somehow setting up a Mosque to be friendly to women and children is a major undertaking... can't understand why but that's how it is. How many Mosques do not even have a place for women let alone a place to accomodate children. Now who's fault is that? We can play the blaming game, but that will not get anyone anywhere, maybe we should try and focus energy into changing the 'norm' and include women and children. I also realize that there are many cultural deterents to overcome - those would have to be addressed first. This is why I don't think the Mosque can be something other than a place for worship, at most a place of learning. I also know that men are known to 'congregate' at the Mosque and engage in more than worship or learning, they make it a 'meeting place' - almost like a social club. I don't agree with doing that, either go there to learn or pray but don't go there to 'socialize' - there are many other places that that can be done. Until there can be a good balance between worship and learning and is welcoming to all I think the Mosque should be for praying only - Inshallah I will experience this one day or at least find a Mosque that is attempting to be someting for all the community!

Comments, views are as always welcomed!!

After Eid

Assalam aliakum & peace to all

Well the day has come and gone, mashallah it was a nice day all in all! I didn't end up taking off work but that's ok as DH had to work too so we couldn't have enjoyed the day together anyway. At night we met up with another couple and went out to eat. We found this nice Arabic type of restaurant that served great food and wonderful desserts - we ate way too much but as was said more than once around the table "it's Eid - only one day" We spent a good two hours there and then parted ways, with stomachs full and iman re-fuled for another year... we continue on this journey of life!

Inshallah all of your days were good and filled with sweets, and good company!

11/28/08

Eid Al-Adha



Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

Well it is almost Eid once again - mashallah time has gone by so quickly...feels like it was just Ramadan not long ago! I am debating if I should take off the 8th and try to 'celebrate' a bit. After Ramadan I was not able to take off any time and I felt 'left out' by it all a bit. So this week I got to thinking that I may just take off Monday and try to feel like it is a holiday of sorts. Being a revert I think sometimes that the Eid's are the most difficult, well one of the more difficult parts of being a convert. I feel like I don't belong anywhere, don't really know 'how' to celebrate but are expected too, and at the same time you don't have that 'special' connection and feeling that other Muslims do. Mashallah I am feeling a bit more 'celebratory' this year - but still life 'goes on as normal' the day of Eids - so it really is a struggle. Anyway, long winded answer. The only thing that is preventing me from taking the day off is two things really. First is the fact that we don't really know when Eid will fall - either the Sunday or Monday. So, if it turns out to be the Sunday I will have taken a day off for nothing and let me tell you my job is such that I will not be able to relax at home. Well, that is the second reason, my job is something that nobody else really knows (or wants) to do, so when I am away, they all feel it and I usually get called at home - so do I really want to deal with that? NO, not at all! So here I sit Friday night thinking if next week I should tell them I want a day off? I pray that I will be able to celebrate but more importantly I am praying that all our sacrifices and Dua's are accepted!

11/24/08

I should be happy about not celebrating Christmas right...?




Assalam alaikum & peace to all

Ok so it is that time of the year again... all the hoopla about Christmas or rather Christmas shopping and rush! I HATE this time of season, not only for the total lack of religious significance of it but also for how crazy people get at this time of the year!
However I do like this time for getting together with my mom and some members of my family to celebrate being together, it never really was a religious holiday for us. (well yes and no - to long to explain - but I was always aware of the fact that the 'reason' for the holiday was more important than presents and things like that) anyway... on to my new problem this year, oh but first a bit of background information. My mom and I would always spend Dec 24th together alone - no other family and exchange gifts and have a nice meal..its almost a tradition. Last year was the first year that I was married so my hubby got included in this tradition... which was really nice. So forward now to this year. It has been a tough year for my mom and from that came her immersion into her religion (Catholicism) which is usually a good thing but she is getting slightly fanatical about it (well to me she is). She stopped eating shrimp and any other bottom feeder type fish, she keeps Saturday as a 'holy' day instead of Sunday and she has officially ...wait for this... cancelled Christmas for this year. I should be happy right? As Muslims we don't celebrate anything other than Eid, which is fine, but why am I feeling so disappointed? I feel so let down that she doesn't want to have our usual traditions. For one she wont eat scallops - this was a favourite food she loved and I would always buy for her the biggest and freshest ones for our 24th dinner - so that is out. As well no presents this year - I always get her a 'joke' card, another tradition - so that is out too. Arrrr... maybe this is a vent post only and there is nothing meaningful to accomplish here. I just feel so deflated. She won't even buy chocolates or anything for anyone - she just says - "I'm done with Christmas" good grief...people are going to think she has lost her mind. Oh well, the one good thing I can say is that she has lots of courage, (the courage that her Daughter lacks apparently) to stand up and say I'm not doing something anymore because I don't believe in it.

Is it 2009 yet?? (Hopefully New Year's is not cancelled as well)

11/19/08

Hijab & the Non-Hijabi

Assalam alaikum & peace to all

I've been on the hijab and no hijab struggle again. From time to time it comes to my mind and I feel that I am going to forever be lost and in a battle of right and wrong. Ok, this post is not really about if Hijab mandatory or not, it is however more about how non-hijabs are sometimes treated by hijabis. Now, I do realize that many, many good sisters do not judge other sisters in terms of what they are wearing, and all I can say to that is Mashallah that you are able to do that! However we all know that that is not always the case with some. I've compilled a few interesting articles about this very situation.

What are my thoughts...well I agree that non hijabis are treated differently, because in a way there is a big difference there. The ones who wear hijab are proclaiming to the world that, yes I am Muslim! The non-hijabis are more or less the 'quiet' type, basically they are not showing the world their religion. I've touched on this subject before, saying that my opinions are that sometimes I don't wish to be a 'flag bearer' of Islam - sometimes I wish to keep that private. I mean are all Jewish or Christians showing outwardly what they believe in? Not all, but some do yes, but maybe having a choice is a good thing as well? Anyway that is a whole other blog!


So read if you are interested... comment if you would like! But always keep learning !


Convertible Hijabi? Or Struggling Sister?

Have you ever heard of the commonly joked about character, “the convertible hijabi?” The drop-top nickname for sisters within our communities, particularly those who only cover during times like prayer, when Qur’an is recited, and during other Islamic instances, and will remove or wear it improperly during others. You all know of this concept and this popular term that has been assigned to it, right?

There’s also a possibility this sister is struggling with this part of the Deen. Mankind by nature struggles to perform duties on a day-to-day basis, and every Muslim struggles to worship Allah, some more than others. You can’t ever forget this, especially in light of our fellow Muslim sisters. Sisters who are having difficulty with hijab should be told that it’s completely okay to struggle, and not have their inner battles be turned into mockery.

Sure she might only cover when she’s praying or during Qur’anic recitation at wedding parties, but isn’t that a good thing? It shows that even though she’s not covering herself all the time, she still has something good within her. MashaAllah, that is amazing. So many Muslim women around the world straight up hate, mock, or reject hijab, and are rarely seen wearing it, let alone praying or practicing Islam at all. This sister, on the other hand, is much better. So instead of attacking her weakness, empower her strengths.



Hijabi Mentality

The mentality of some hijabi's, in which they feel as if they are superior to other non-hijabi muslim females.
The Hijabi Mentality makes a lot of hijabi's demand respect, only due to the fact that they wear a hijab. Often times, some hijabi women may not be the greatest of muslims, yet they still have the attitude that non-hijabi's are inferior, even if the non-hijabi is more religious than the hijabi.

Example: Please do not treat her like that, she is a hijabi (but not saying the same thing for other non-hijabi muslim women).

Please keep in mind that not all hijabi's have this mentality, there are a lot of great hijabi women out there. But with every good thing, comes at least a few bad things. Also, we should never judge our muslim brothers and sisters, whether they are very religious or not, and whether they were the hijab or not.


The Hijab

I have been wearing the hijab for twenty years now - not so regularly when a teenager, (on and off - you know), but strongly donning it into motherhood, and in my struggles to defend a woman’s choice to wear it. But I did notice something. People - especially Muslim men - tended to respect me more over my other Muslim friends for the mere fact that I had a piece of cloth covering my head. At first I thought I was imagining this….but the more I worked in the community, the more I noticed this. I used to notice that my non-”hijabi” friends would actually pray more than me, would follow the ”rules” more than me, not mix with men, or anything considered “unIslamic”, yet because I wore a hijab, I was treated better. I was TOLD that I was respected more than my non-hijabi friends because of my hijab. This concerned me greatly. It defied the whole reason for WHY I WAS WEARING IT:




9/23/08

Ramadan Day 14 - Family Iftar

Assalam alaikum & Peace to all

I realize this is going backwards but I wanted to tell you about how
we broke fast two weeks ago. Well we went to my Mother's place
and had a nice night - Mashallah. My Mom does not know that I
am Muslim but she does know that I am fasting (as I had mentioned
earlier - she thinks I am doing it for 'love' of my husband - ahh le sigh what
to do) Anyway I told her that I would bring food to cook over to her
place and we could cook together - she liked that - so this is what we
made
.
Spinach-rice filled peppers with roasted mushrooms

These were the dates(filled with almond paste), walnuts and
Turkish Delight(Lokum)

So this is what the whole dinner setting looked like - we had roasted chicken
and the filled peppers, potatoes.



So this how we broke fast - with my Mother and it was a nice evening.
I only wish that she was this understanding with everything!


Ramadan Diary - Day 17-22


Assalam alaikum & peace to all

Well we are in the last 10 days of Ramadan - mashallah - it is good to
use these 10 days for more prayer and reflection.
I have been busy with having people over for dinner (well just
on Sunday night) but I had a whole day of cooking and cleaning
to do!! So I was really wiped out by the end of the night! It
was a very nice evening - my friend and her hubby and adorable
little 2 1/2 came over (they are non-muslims) but they were so
understanding of us not eating, that they waited until it was time
to break fast to even nibble on the appetizers - mashallah - it
really is nice when people understand!
Other than the weekend I have been crazy at work - it has been
so stressful (our computer system completely crashed and now
we need a whole new system, which means we have to re-enter all
of the codes, vendors, etc - absolutely a huge (ginormous) job.
Nothing to do except get it over with - so with it being so busy
I have not had time to really blog or really to keep up with my
Quran reading (I'm up Juz 22 as of today) so I have about 2 days
to catch up - Inshallah I will be able to do it today!

Hope that everyone is having a good Ramadan and please make
lots of Dua in these last 10 days!

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