If at first you don't succeed try try again...and again!

Ok fair warning that this blog is going to be a bit of a pity party for Aalya. I just feel plain 'ole depressed right now. Hubby and I have been trying to conceive for a short time now, and yet again one more month has passed without any results. Subhanallah, I know that it is God's will and it will happen only when it is 'right' but it just feels a bit frustrating - perhaps I am not ready yet to be a mother? Only God knows really. I will relay some small 'revelation' I had today that gave me hope that I may have been successful this month...but alas as the day progressed, I knew I was not. I have daily emails come into my email box, and today I look at the last email I got, but before opening it I said a small 'request' to God. I asked to be shown what is happening in my trying to conceive journey. So, I proceeded to open the email and mashallah this is what verse came before me: An-Najm (The Star) 53:46 From a seed when lodged (in its place)
I very nearly started to cry at my office desk, I was so convinced that this was a 'sign' from God, that I had indeed been successful. Background here is necessary, I do not believe that we need signs from God to believe or not to believe but I was led to my conversion to Islam by this very way. I was studying Islam and one day at my office desk I had an online version of the Quran on the screen (the whole book) and asked God to tell me what is real and if I should be following Islam, again this is what appeared: Al-Imran (The Family of Imran) 3:70 Ye People of the Book! Why reject ye the Signs of Allah, of which ye are (Yourselves) witnesses?
I was totally astounded and knew from that moment that I was 'guided' to this religion and knew that it was right!
So that is why I had hope, once again I was given a spark of hope. I tried not to let it get me down when later in the day I realized that I was not pregnant. Yes, it may seem silly and childish to think and believe in 'signs' but it is only because of my first encounter with a sign that it made me believe I had received another in the same form. So right now I am going to take the 'sign' as a sign that yes, I should try again and yes, God is here guiding us all the time....


Molly said...

Allah be with you and may it happen at exactly the right time. Allah IS the best planner of all. :)

Ps- I believe in that too, I always keep my heart and eyes open for signs from Allah.

Amina said...

I've found your blog today, very interesting...I like this post, very must always try, keep hope and leave things for Allah

regards from Poland

Purple Tulips said...

Assalam o Alaikum, Sister.

I understand your frustration, I'm going through it myself. I, often times, look for signs myself. I try to analyze my dreams, hoping that perhaps there's a sign there. But, at the end of the day, I gain hope and inspiration from the Holy verses of the Quran.

May Allah bless you.

(I just stumbled upon your blog today, through random browsing, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.)


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