If at first you don't succeed try try again...and again!
Ok fair warning that this blog is going to be a bit of a pity party for Aalya. I just feel plain 'ole depressed right now. Hubby and I have been trying to conceive for a short time now, and yet again one more month has passed without any results. Subhanallah, I know that it is God's will and it will happen only when it is 'right' but it just feels a bit frustrating - perhaps I am not ready yet to be a mother? Only God knows really. I will relay some small 'revelation' I had today that gave me hope that I may have been successful this month...but alas as the day progressed, I knew I was not. I have daily emails come into my email box, and today I look at the last email I got, but before opening it I said a small 'request' to God. I asked to be shown what is happening in my trying to conceive journey. So, I proceeded to open the email and mashallah this is what verse came before me: An-Najm (The Star) 53:46 From a seed when lodged (in its place)
I very nearly started to cry at my office desk, I was so convinced that this was a 'sign' from God, that I had indeed been successful. Background here is necessary, I do not believe that we need signs from God to believe or not to believe but I was led to my conversion to Islam by this very way. I was studying Islam and one day at my office desk I had an online version of the Quran on the screen (the whole book) and asked God to tell me what is real and if I should be following Islam, again this is what appeared: Al-Imran (The Family of Imran) 3:70 Ye People of the Book! Why reject ye the Signs of Allah, of which ye are (Yourselves) witnesses?
I was totally astounded and knew from that moment that I was 'guided' to this religion and knew that it was right!
So that is why I had hope, once again I was given a spark of hope. I tried not to let it get me down when later in the day I realized that I was not pregnant. Yes, it may seem silly and childish to think and believe in 'signs' but it is only because of my first encounter with a sign that it made me believe I had received another in the same form. So right now I am going to take the 'sign' as a sign that yes, I should try again and yes, God is here guiding us all the time....