Pages

9/4/08

Ramadan Diary - Day 3 & 4


Assalam alaikum & peace to all.

Well its day 4 today - it has not been too bad, no more headaches thank God!
Just have a very empty feeling stomach but that I can deal with!

Day 3 was a bit of a challenge as I had to stay late at work (left at 5:15) and
had to go to my mom's place (traffic is usually really bad - and since I
left late from work I knew it was going to be a bad drive) and then
get back in time to break my fast. I had already prepared the food for
hubby (just had to warm up the soup) because I knew that I would be late
in coming home. So anyway I left work and made my merrily way down
to my mom's house, but alhamduillah the traffic was much better than
I had imagined! So got there and my mom didn't even ask if I wanted
something to eat or drink. Background here, she doesn't know that I am
Muslim but knows that I will fast, assuming it is because my husband is
fasting. It is very hard to deal with all this, not telling her and living a 'lie'
somewhat, but she made it even harder yesterday by her comment.
I was telling her that we get up at around 3:00 am to eat, (she knows
that I hate to wake up early mornings) and she just looks at me and
says: "See what you do for love?" Ah, sigh, sigh. I didn't know what
to say just half smiled and tried to move on to another topic. On the
way home I was thinking about her comment and I realized that I may
never be able to tell her of my changing. It saddens me to no end that
she is so close minded about Islam (more so in recent months - she is
're-discovering' Christianity and becoming very 'strict') I can see her
drifting more and more into 'disbelief', well in the Muslim sense of
disbelief. I pray to God that she is guided to the right way, everytime
I read in the Quran about how God will choose who to put on the straight
path, and how it is not up to us who will be chosen, it makes me so sad for
my Mother. She is not entirely lost in Christianity, but she could never
reject the idea of Jesus not being the son of God. All I can do is keep
praying that God will forgive her and lead her to the right way. I feel like I have
done all I can to talk to her about it but she does not listen to me.

Well that was a small glimpse into my life, sorry long winded, and if you
have read all of it - thank you! Other than that it was a good day.
Actually funny thing was about my whole mom situation - well maybe
not funny but rather touching - was that when she told me that whole
'you do it for love' bit, I immediately thought: 'yeah for the love of God'
not husband. Don't know if that was right to think or not but it just
immediately came into my mind. The touching part was when I told
hubby about this he said the same exact thing!! That I'm doing it
for the love of God. I was so struck by that, especially from him -
he usually does not say things like this! Alhamduillah, truly God
guides those whom He wishes to!

Well, right now its only about 15 more mins to break the fast - inshallah!
I have to get the soup heated up !
I pray you all have good fasts and are able to get the most benefit from
this holy month!

1 comment:

ammena said...

masha'allah nice post sis.. with the issues ive been having lately it felt good to know my relationship with God is stronger and i fear it more than my relationship with h2b alhamdulillah. Thats how it should be, love for God, muhammed, our husbands then our family.. hard to understand from a non muslim perspective. Allahu alim

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin