Assalam alaikum & Peace to all
I got asked today a very good question:
Why are you uncomfortable sharing Islam with your family?
I had to think quite a lot about this and really to be honest, I don't have a good answer for it. But me being me...I'll give you some insights as to why I have a hard time telling/sharing Islam with my family.
First of all it's mostly because my Mother does not know, and telling her right now I fear she will become ill - and I mean really ill. She has been through a lot of difficulties and to be frank she is getting older and does not handle change very well lately. I have been so close to telling her about twice now, but each time I kind of wimp out of it. I have talked to her about Islam and she knows that it is something I know about, obviously because my husband is Muslim! Now there is
the part that would probably make things easier, you would think? I sometimes think that she already figures that I have changed religions for 'him' (the classic answer) and that me telling her would only serve to confirm her thoughts, but I cannot be sure of that. I'm sure many of you are thinking...well just tell her and get over it! Yeah I would love to and as this is not a TV episode that ends in half and hour and has a neat and tidy - huggy huggy ending, I will have to deal with
the outcome of it. I have however given my mom some articles to read and have even given her
some verses of Quran (although she does not know they are from Quran - yeah I know, sneaky, but I pray that it was not something wrong to do!) She asked me where it came from, I said 'online' (blush)
Secondly I am not really that close with my family, only a cousin and his family, his mother. (My Aunt) We don't really have a big family. So that leaves my friends, which I have a few really good ones, and some more casual ones. Only 5 or 6 of them know that I am Muslim and it only came
out casually in conversation and thankfully they did not make a big deal of it! (I don't like being the center of attention!)
All of my co-workers do not know... and there is a reason, well two. One is that the woman who hired me is a friend to my cousin....so if one knows the other will know as well. You do the math! Second is that people here are very un-receptive towards anyone really different, I mean if I were to show up in a headscarf, well let's just say I don't know what would happen.
I can just hear some of you bloggers out there saying... 'oh those are not good reasons at all'
Well you know what, you are probably right but for me right now at this stage I am at, this is how it has to be. I can only pray that inshallah one day I have the strength and Iman to face people and proudly say I am Muslim! That day has not come.
Being an anonymous face in the blogging world gives me a strength that I do not feel in the outside world. Perhaps it is because it is anonymous, but it is so much easier to be myself here online. Isn't that funny that it takes a pseudo life to feel as if you are living your real life?
Well so right here right now... I am proud to be Muslim and I thank Allah that it was brought into my life and Inshallah I want to grow and learn everyday in this wonderful, peaceful religion! I also pray that one day I will be able to share all of this with my family and friends!